At least make sure they are 18
Why
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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