Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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