if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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