everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
