his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
