I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
