Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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