i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
