it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
