I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
God, I missed his penis.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
