pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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