I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
