Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
