Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
