I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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