im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
