About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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