we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
