we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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