there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
