Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
