I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
