okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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