To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
