Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
