I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Did you just see the Batmobile???
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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