He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
