Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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