i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
