the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
