i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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