it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
