If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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