i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
