Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
