Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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