you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am available for nakedness
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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