It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
