i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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