k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
