The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
