So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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