you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
