saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
