i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
