I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
