Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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