where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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