The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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