yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
