O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
