since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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