What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
