please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
