That's intense
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
