i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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